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Be honest, ASSHOLE, just this once: Is the destruction of your wife a bug or is it a feature? Because cheating on this scale isn't about succumbing to temptation or reacting to neglect.It's about the annihilation of your partner—a (hopefully) subconscious desire to punish and destroy someone, anyone, fool enough to love you.Which means it's both ultimatum and bluff-calling time.So long as your husband thinks he can dictate terms by pointing to his triggers and his trauma, GMHC, he has every incentive to continue being triggered and traumatized.The tragedy is how unnecessary your choices have been.
Instead, women who knew I was in an "exclusive" relationship have approached me.
So with your couples therapist there to mediate, tell him your marriage is either open or closed.