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Why do I not respond politely to every message, even the ones I’m not interested in? Once we make it out of the safe cocoon of the Internet and into the real world I’m better about aligning my actions with my values.
Why do I alternate between playing the damsel and the playing the demanding entitled a**hole? Out here, at a bar or restaurant, I work really hard to make sure that you know we are equals participating in a traditionally unequal transaction.
She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk.
You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.
Why can’t I apply this “equal investment” attitude to the getting of dates and not just the paying for dates?
*****It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.
I believe exercising those empathy muscles is what helps us be better, kinder human beings, but it’s not fair of me to ask without trying to reciprocate.*****You might think online dating would create some much-needed “fairness” between the sexes.In the realm of hetero courtship, tradition still reigns supreme.There is plenty of privilege to go around, and while I spend a lot of time thinking about the big things I’m afforded due to my lucky draw, the little things I get are worth considering too.
I hypothesize that it will feel shitty to spend time on a nice note and to be ignored, but I don’t know, because I haven’t really tried.The Internet could be the great democratizer, the great playing field-leveler.