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If you happen to be the spouse who is keen on holding onto your marriage, it is highly probable that you are not in your usual state of mind and are acting in desperate ways.

This very behaviour that you keep doing pushes your partner further away (you are aware of it, but can’t seem to help it! You have chased, cajoled, reasoned, begged, pleaded, railed, guilt-tripped, and implored your partner to no avail.

OK, so you have tried everything, exhausted all your options, and feel hopeless and even helpless.

Now it is time to use the Last Resort Technique to save your marriage.

When this happens, the angry part blocks any other feelings, like sadness, grief, guilt, and remorse that might cause some reflection and actually help your cause.

With your mate staring angrily at you, what opportunity do they get to look in the mirror, reflect, and take some responsibility for your marital breakdown? Here is your action plan based on The Last Resort Technique: 1. Immediately cease anything that your spouse might look at as pursuing behavior.

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The Last Resort Technique has been developed by Michelle Weiner-Davis to save your marriage, your sanity, or both.

The separation anxiety and desperation are an ugly place to be in for both of you and for others to see.

You will feel and look unattractive – not one of us will be at our best here.

– Quit supplying you wife or husband with a reason to leave. I am asking you to stop doing the very thing that keeps the feeling of powerlessness and helplessness temporarily at bay. This means stopping anything that would be perceived by your spouse as your way of chasing him or her, such as: Stop saying “I love you.” This is essential. ” I get it, but even though this will be hard, know that every time you say “I love you,” your spouse is reminded that they don’t love you and will be looking the other way! That is why it is imperative to silence the “I Love You’s”. What happens in a crisis like separation is, we become desperate, clingy, and depressed.

You already feel how disheartening it is to hear their resigned response of “I know” or worse, still silence. You are in tears often, mope around sadly, lose interest in things you used to enjoy, and basically become lifeless as the fearful or rejected part of you shuts you down as a means to cope.It is surprising but it is the reality, this will really connect with the part of you that can hear reason.