What does validating feelings mean
They'll stamp your ticket and when you hand it the person at the exit gate, you don't have to pay anything.A town I used to live in had a variation on that procedure.We help them feel heard, acknowledged, understood and accepted. It was obvious by his face that he was scared and I wanted to share, understand, and validate his feeling.Sometimes validation entails listening, sometimes it is a nod or a sign of agreement or understanding, sometimes it can be a hug or a gentle touch. But after I asked if he were a little bit scared and before he had a chance to answere the other social worker interupted us and in a scolding tone of voice told him there was nothing to be afraid of! When someone is experiencing a strong feeling, sometimes we "try to help" by telling her or him "it's not so bad." This attempt to minimize the negative experience -- to save someone from the struggle, actually undermines the effort to help.
I have found, as I am sure you have, that it takes more to get some people talking than others.
In fact, if there is a communication breakdown, if there is a wall between you and someone else, it probably has been built with the bricks of When we validate someone, we allow them to safely share their feelings and thoughts. By validating someone we demonstrate that we care and that their feelings matter to us-- in other words, that they matter to us.
We are reassuring them that it is okay to have the feelings they have. By "mirroring" someone's feelings, we show them that we are in tune with them.
So instead of paying for their goods and services to get the parking validation, they will simply ask the clerk for one.
That's why they ask, "Do you validate parking?I live in a rather large city, but where I live you just park.